bad dream last night
i had a dream that i was in my car, i was me this time and not just the me where you know you’re you but you might look entirely different, like someone you met once or someone you’ve never seen, even. i was definitely me.
i was in my car and there were people, and a child screaming. they were standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking a bay and they were playing with the child. the child was screaming. it was night. they were playing with the child and smashing his face into the ground over and over again, tossing him up by one limb and down by another, flipping. they were playing, and the child was screaming help me, help me, somebody help me.
there was one woman. she wore a black hoodie and her hair pulled back into a bun. she had half inch brown roots bleeding into red that was probably pink once but had turned brassy. the child was screaming. the two men had jackets, one was green and puckered. the child was screaming.
i was in my car, and i didn’t do anything, and i woke up with that kid screaming in my head.
i fell back asleep, and revisited the same place after some time had passed and other tortures and boundaries and stalking men had come by.
i drove back there and they were abusing the child again, and the child was screaming the same thing. the child’s voice was raw from the screaming. he never said anything else. i don’t know what he was wearing.
i wanted to get out of the car – i saw myself get out of the car and run to help the child and them turning to me, reaching for my arms and legs, and starting with me. i don’t know what happened to the child when i saw myself doing that.
i also saw myself drive away, and woke up again hoping that they hadn’t seen my license plate.