i miss you

by mickharris

i miss you, you fucker

 

i lost my glasses at work today and i specifically did not say the chant to st. anthony

 

although i thanked him when i found them, finally, sitting on top of a pile of paint chips far away from the computer

 

and i thought of you, and i got mad

 

i miss your sing-song

 

something lost that can’t be found

 

st. anthony, look around

 

i miss your lazy catholicism and your saint candles and your nurse shark tattoo and your blemished skin

 

i miss your orange hat and long pock-marked nails

 

i miss you catching things with your teeth and crying like your face split in two

 

i miss your wild frizzy bleach blond hair and your saggy tits

 

i miss your spit lisps and your smoky eye makeup

 

i miss your skater shoes and your fucked-up ankle

 

what the hell am i supposed to do with this

 

when every memory still cracks open all of you in my mind

 

how the hell am i supposed to just let you go?

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