i miss you

by mickharris

i miss you, you fucker


i lost my glasses at work today and i specifically did not say the chant to st. anthony


although i thanked him when i found them, finally, sitting on top of a pile of paint chips far away from the computer


and i thought of you, and i got mad


i miss your sing-song


something lost that can’t be found


st. anthony, look around


i miss your lazy catholicism and your saint candles and your nurse shark tattoo and your blemished skin


i miss your orange hat and long pock-marked nails


i miss you catching things with your teeth and crying like your face split in two


i miss your wild frizzy bleach blond hair and your saggy tits


i miss your spit lisps and your smoky eye makeup


i miss your skater shoes and your fucked-up ankle


what the hell am i supposed to do with this


when every memory still cracks open all of you in my mind


how the hell am i supposed to just let you go?